Much is made of bitcoin’s earth-shattering potential to revolutionise the way we use and even perceive money.
Invented after the global crash of 2007, the cryptocurrency seems to offer an as yet ambiguous alternative to the old pre-crash world.
But, if we were to imagine these serious conversations being had by serious people with very serious and solemn faces, you would find me loitering on the other side of the room beside the canapés desperately stuffing as many into my face as possible.
Yes, your funny money sounds great, but can I eat it? At the very least, can I use it to satiate my huge and ever-present hunger?
Thankfully yes, here are four of the best ways to eat with bitcoin.
1. Eating on the street
If, while walking around London’s Shoreditch area, you find yourself overcome with an animalistic yearning for a piece of meat hugged closely by two bits of bread, there are many restaurants and pubs to choose from.
But if you’re flying the flag of the good ship bitcoin, there’s only one place for you: Burger Bear. Probably the first street vendor in the UK to accept bitcoin, Burger Bear serves artisanal burgers and has been taking bitcoin payments since late November. “The best burger in the world” is how one bitcoiner, Ryan Holder, described his purchase.
In the US, Peruvian Brothers in Washington DC and Cheese Wizards in Seattle are leading the food truck industry’s acceptance of bitcoin. Fingers crossed more and more street vendors begin accepting bitcoin in 2014.
2. Back to the farm
There’s nothing finer than fresh produce straight from the farm. Whether it be tasty peppers, glistening strawberries or just fresh greens, buying straight from the source always beats going to the supermarkets.
If you are lucky enough to live in the Provo, Utah, the La Nay Ferme farm offers “naturally grown fruits and vegetables” you can buy with bitcoin. You can either join their CSA (community supported agriculture project), purchase a weekly share of their produce, or simply take your pick from their fresh selection each week.
Down in Argentina, the Tierra Buena Network delivers organic farm produce to customers and welcomes bitcoiners with open arms.
3. Don’t even leave the house
If you’re the type of bitcoiner who’s inclined to order a takeaway instead of venturing beyond your front door (or, god-forbid, into the kitchen), there is also hope for you.
Takeaway.com and many of the websites it owns in countries across the world now accept bitcoin for food deliveries.
American bitcoiners probably have it easiest, with restaurant delivery network Foodler, which works with 12,000 restaurants, accepting bitcoins since April.
Most of their purchases are in San Francisco and Washington DC. Although a future utopia where you can order any takeout you like with bitcoin isn’t fully realised yet, we’re getting there slowly.
4. Survive the zombie apocalypse
Artisanal burgers, fresh farm produce and home delivery are all great right now. But when the zombie apocalypse comes a-knocking, they’ll be little use to you (although a restaurant willing to battle the undead to bring hot curry to your front door would probably do good business in the apocalypse).
When the day of judgement comes, you’ll want to make sure you’re prepared. That’s where SurvivalFood.com comes in. It accepts bitcoin and sells delights like the “Mountain House Turkey Tetrazzini Pouch” and the “Bandito Scramble Eggs Potatoes Breakfast Pouch”, both of which have a shelf life of seven years.
So, if corpses begin bursting from their graves, you can rest easy knowing that bitcoin helped keep you fed and happy.
Just don’t forget to lock your front door.